Most people are scared to let their toddlers handle money.
I'm happy daughter is the type who knows she shouldn't put anything shiny in her mouth. At an early age, I told her "most of the time when it's shiny, it's usually not fit to put in your mouth." That includes uncooked fish, shiny shoes, glitter polish, colorful balls, decorative stones & small coins. My mom-in-law used to babysit her all the time & she allowed her to play with coins at four months (under close supervision and a ton of wipes & hand sanitizer!)
Being the eldest, I pray that she'll be more comfortable in handling and growing her money.
My parents taught me the value of hard work as a young child but they never really trusted me in handling my own money. They were limited by their own experiences & upbringing. However, they instilled in me that the best way to show love is through service...which means that even when you're tired from school/extracurricular activities and/or you're having a bad day you're still expected to help at home. Not because you'll earn money from doing so, but because when you serve the people you love you inevitably improve yourself and prepare your soul for eternal life and thus attain true happiness. They said I could increase my chances of going up to heaven when I die when I make life on earth a little bit better for myself and others.
They taught me how to prioritize saving. I always have packed food for school. Ma is a firm believer of portion control. You can have treats but only in small quantities, every two hours. When you go beyond what is required by your body, you have to punish yourself & work hard to lose the excess body fat. Inspite of that, they always give me a hundred pesos in the beginning of the school year. When I manage not to spend that emergency money for the entire schoolyear, they praise my thriftiness. They brag about my thriftiness to our relatives. I skipped parties & opted not to buy new dresses. I recycled old gowns & vintage clothes. I went on like that until I finished highschool. My classmates thought I was weird but I told everyone: " There would come a time I could wear gowns and makeup at home if I wanted to."
Anything monetary I managed to collect from singing in family events & parties during holidays, I turned it over to my parents to help with household expenses. I knew the kind of education they opted for me was way more than what we could afford. Living out your dream is expensive in the beginning. Hence the desire to help them out in whatever way I can was there early on.
Papa used to have an optical shop & we were one of the few establishments in Manila before that had a payphone. At three years old, I was trained to time the callers & say in the cutest way possible: "Sir/Ma'am, your three minutes is up!" or "Kindly add more to your payment because you stayed on the phone for more than three minutes." Sometimes he would examine patients while I was being carried. Ma also cooked & cleaned while requiring me to help.
I wanted to try my hand in acting when I was three. But my mom discouraged me from doing so. She felt uncomfortable homeschooling me and expecting me to earn for the family at such a young age.
She only accompanied me to an audition when I was nine-- a time when I already had more insecurities as compared as to when I was a toddler. Sadly I wasn't too successful. I couldn't get projects that would cover the expensive cabs to Makati. We knew about singing workshops but Ma said it was too expensive. She said my voice was like that of a cockroach.
She made me help in the kitchen more instead. But our lola and yayas were more critical in food prep techniques. At one point I gave up because they said I was too slow and overly cautious. What I cooked was never good enough. I made polvoron, leche flan, fruit salad, turon, ice candy, cookies, pancakes and banana cue until I got tired of making sweets. I never got to sell any of those. Lola said I lacked precision and consistency; I wasn't so good in handling constructive criticism.
My sister Catie was better in the kitchen. Now with God's grace she's a professional in a prestigious airline lounge in the Middle East. She even trained in the US prior to graduation. She earned more out of our elementary kitchen training.
Now that I have kids, I want to expose them to what we do as early as we can just so they could get more comfortable in dealing with various types of people. I was unreasonably shy with adults when I was a child & my voice became a pitch higher when I get overly nervous/ excited.
It's a blessing Mr. ChinkPositive Chinkee Tan and his daughter Kayla get to share Moneywise tips in their book "Raising Up Moneywise Kids." Here are the top 5 things I learned in the first part of the book:
1. Argue privately if you really have to.
- Choose your verbal battles wisely & don't do it in front of the children. "Have a time out to give yourself space to think." If you don't have a private space, talk calmly in a language they don't understand or just do it quietly when you're sure they're asleep (if you don't have another room and/or a helper to watch the kids).
2. Don't call anyone names
- Ma was fond of joking around, calling me "Negra" (because of my uneven skintone) & my Pa "Kulas" in public. The book suggests to avoid doing so to help create a more positive self-image especially for kids who are still like "wet cement." It's hard to control one's temper when a kid does something upsetting when we're tired but Chinkee suggests we should practice being "quick to apologize and slow to anger" at home.
3. Don't say you don't have money or you're too poor- Train their young brains how to think more positively. Instead of saying: "It's too expensive" admit that it's just out of your budget at the moment & that you could save up for it eventually if you work hard enough & earn more from it. You have to help them increase their EQ and become better dreamers.
4. Don't compare
- My parents were good in identifying our core skills but they weren't too effective in managing our weaknesses. Growing up in an extended family setup even created more pressure. I think we would have fared better if there was a little more privacy in the house & if they used a gentler tone when they reprimanded us. Easier said than done but yeah I think that would have made a huge difference.
5. Don't lie to kids especially about money, health & other issues
- "Sabi po ng Ate ko natutulog siya" said my sister to a suitor I avoided talking to when I was in highschool. Chinkee Tan says white lies, no matter how trivial, are bad especially for young kids. He advises us to try our best to be excellent role models for the children.
I will try my best to be a better person for my kids; may God grant me the perseverance to achieve this.
