Inay Ko Po!

When they were smaller, it was easier to make them sit still

But nowadays, we seldom get to play outside.  Sometimes they can get too rowdy & it's very challenging for a non-sporty mom like me to run after two toddlers. Clean public parks with minimal cars and people aren't walking distance from where we live. With the dengue outbreak, it's also scary to let them out for too long.  Their insect repellant creams are Deet-free; you have to keep on reapplying when they sweat. My kids are like me; they sweat a lot even with an electric fan on :/ And yeah, blame me that I don't like hanging out and running around when the sun is up. I only enjoy it when there's no sun &/or it's 22 degrees or less outside.  Or if I'll be allowed to run around naked or with minimal clothes on.

So yeah, during daytime I just draw the curtains to let the sunlight in our townhouse.  I let them dream of their next vacation where it is cooler outside, with green grass, more trees, less cars & tons of fresh fruit. I allow them to watch films which feature places we've never been before.

But most of the time we aren't on vacation.  So here are some of their favorite indoor games that kinda stress me out--but I try not to complain because kids need to play.

1. Jumpathon

We do not have springs under our mattress but they are still very fond of strengthening their legs and core in the bedroom.  An alternative for them is Gramma's dusty couch (bwahaha). We bought them a padded skid-proof floor liner in case they do fall on the ground. I'm very tempted to buy a trampoline; but I've read that those aren't really safe for toddlers. So yeah, probably on my son's 7th birthday we'll set up one for him.

2. Slide

My kids have wild imaginations. They dream of sliding in lush forests and bumping on animals in swamps just like the Lion Guards.  For this, our couch is quite versatile with all the throw pillows.  Again, thank God for the floor liner.  

3. Tag marathon

I was never an active kid (Ma said I only learned how to walk alone before I turned 2 & I took care of Lola's crystal collection even before I went to school) so I didn't expect my kids could be this active.  Turns out, my lack of interest in sports is just recessive in our family as my kids could climb the stairs & people-high mattress displays in department stores even before they learned how to walk.

With limited space in our living room, it's amazing how my kids could have so much fun playing tag for hours. I somehow envy their small age-gap; they act like twins sometimes. I've always wanted a twin when I was young. haha. Aya could pretend she's my twin now but she doesn't have time to play tag anymore :p. 

4. Indoor Basketball

My mom is very happy my son love balls (unlike me who used to have a phobia with basketballs, softballs & volleyballs).  So much so she got them their own hoop & soft basketball.  I installed it in their playroom with some sticky tack; and they enjoyed hours of gleeful shooting!  There are days when my daughter just takes the hoop off the wall though; she insists that the room is hers & not her brother's.  She prefers to shoot in toppled stools.

5. Hide and Seek

This is their favorite bedtime ritual.  They play hide & seek under the sheets for three or four rounds after story-time.  This was how I got to teach Leon how to count.  I dunno until when they will enjoy playing this game but I think I might miss this when they're all grown.

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Hoping to Raise Moneywise Toddlers

Most people are scared to let their toddlers handle money.

I'm happy daughter is the type who knows she shouldn't put anything shiny in her mouth. At an early age, I told her "most of the time when it's shiny, it's usually not fit to put in your mouth." That includes uncooked fish, shiny shoes, glitter polish, colorful balls, decorative stones & small coins. My mom-in-law used to babysit her all the time & she allowed her to play with coins at four months (under close supervision and a ton of wipes & hand sanitizer!)

Being the eldest, I pray that she'll be more comfortable in handling and growing her money.

My parents taught me the value of hard work as a young child but they never really trusted me in handling my own money. They were limited by their own experiences & upbringing. However, they instilled in me that the best way to show love is through service...which means that even when you're tired from school/extracurricular activities and/or you're having a bad day you're still expected to help at home. Not because you'll earn money from doing so, but because when you serve the people you love you inevitably improve yourself and prepare your soul for eternal life and thus attain true happiness. They said I could increase my chances of going up to heaven when I die when I make life on earth a little bit better for myself and others.

They taught me how to prioritize saving. I always have packed food for school. Ma is a firm believer of portion control. You can have treats but only in small quantities, every two hours. When you go beyond what is required by your body, you have to punish yourself & work hard to lose the excess body fat. Inspite of that, they always give me a hundred pesos in the beginning of the school year. When I manage not to spend that emergency money for the entire schoolyear, they praise my thriftiness. They brag about my thriftiness to our relatives. I skipped parties & opted not to buy new dresses. I recycled old gowns & vintage clothes. I went on like that until I finished highschool. My classmates thought I was weird but I told everyone: " There would come a time I could wear gowns and makeup at home if I wanted to."

Anything monetary I managed to collect from singing in family events & parties during holidays, I turned it over to my parents to help with household expenses. I knew the kind of education they opted for me was way more than what we could afford. Living out your dream is expensive in the beginning. Hence the desire to help them out in whatever way I can was there early on.

Papa used to have an optical shop & we were one of the few establishments in Manila before that had a payphone. At three years old, I was trained to time the callers & say in the cutest way possible: "Sir/Ma'am, your three minutes is up!" or "Kindly add more to your payment because you stayed on the phone for more than three minutes." Sometimes he would examine patients while I was being carried. Ma also cooked & cleaned while requiring me to help.

I wanted to try my hand in acting when I was three. But my mom discouraged me from doing so. She felt uncomfortable homeschooling me and expecting me to earn for the family at such a young age.

She only accompanied me to an audition when I was nine-- a time when I already had more insecurities as compared as to when I was a toddler. Sadly I wasn't too successful. I couldn't get projects that would cover the expensive cabs to Makati. We knew about singing workshops but Ma said it was too expensive. She said my voice was like that of a cockroach.

She made me help in the kitchen more instead. But our lola and yayas were more critical in food prep techniques. At one point I gave up because they said I was too slow and overly cautious. What I cooked was never good enough. I made polvoron, leche flan, fruit salad, turon, ice candy, cookies, pancakes and banana cue until I got tired of making sweets. I never got to sell any of those. Lola said I lacked precision and consistency; I wasn't so good in handling constructive criticism.

My sister Catie was better in the kitchen. Now with God's grace she's a professional in a prestigious airline lounge in the Middle East. She even trained in the US prior to graduation. She earned more out of our elementary kitchen training.

Now that I have kids, I want to expose them to what we do as early as we can just so they could get more comfortable in dealing with various types of people. I was unreasonably shy with adults when I was a child & my voice became a pitch higher when I get overly nervous/ excited.

It's a blessing Mr. ChinkPositive Chinkee Tan and his daughter Kayla get to share Moneywise tips in their book "Raising Up Moneywise Kids." Here are the top 5 things I learned in the first part of the book:

1. Argue privately if you really have to.
- Choose your verbal battles wisely & don't do it in front of the children. "Have a time out to give yourself space to think." If you don't have a private space, talk calmly in a language they don't understand or just do it quietly when you're sure they're asleep (if you don't have another room and/or a helper to watch the kids).

2. Don't call anyone names
- Ma was fond of joking around, calling me "Negra" (because of my uneven skintone) & my Pa "Kulas" in public. The book suggests to avoid doing so to help create a more positive self-image especially for kids who are still like "wet cement." It's hard to control one's temper when a kid does something upsetting when we're tired but Chinkee suggests we should practice being "quick to apologize and slow to anger" at home.

3. Don't say you don't have money or you're too poor- Train their young brains how to think more positively. Instead of saying: "It's too expensive" admit that it's just out of your budget at the moment & that you could save up for it eventually if you work hard enough & earn more from it. You have to help them increase their EQ and become better dreamers.

4. Don't compare
- My parents were good in identifying our core skills but they weren't too effective in managing our weaknesses. Growing up in an extended family setup even created more pressure. I think we would have fared better if there was a little more privacy in the house & if they used a gentler tone when they reprimanded us. Easier said than done but yeah I think that would have made a huge difference.

5. Don't lie to kids especially about money, health & other issues
- "Sabi po ng Ate ko natutulog siya" said my sister to a suitor I avoided talking to when I was in highschool. Chinkee Tan says white lies, no matter how trivial, are bad especially for young kids. He advises us to try our best to be excellent role models for the children.

I will try my best to be a better person for my kids; may God grant me the perseverance to achieve this.

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Flower Girl Tips

It's challenging being the first grandchild.  As a kid I served as a flower girl in eleven weddings.  Ma didn't want to trouble with so many dresses so there came point wherein I had a basic itchy flouncy white gown. We just changed its trimming several times to fit the next wedding theme.  I hated most of my photos though; the heavy 80s makeup & stiff hairdos didn't suit me.

Now it's my daughter's turn to build her "resume" being a stage mom is more fun than I thought haha.  Her first walk down the aisle happened when she was 2 and I'm just happy that she gets to enjoy it each time. 

Here are some tips on how to be an effective flower girl/ ring bearer coach:

1. Ask your child if she likes what she/he is going to wear.

My daughter hates petticoats and itchy tule.  There was a time she refused to wear a gown because it was too heavy for her.  So I cut out the petticoat underneath and replaced it with a more baby friendly ballet skirt I got on sale from Cotton On Kids.

If she hates the sleeves or the heavy beadwork, try to ease her discomfort especially if the venue isn't airconditioned.  Ma used to dust baby powder with a little bit of glitter over my shoulders & armpits to lessen the itch brought about by ruffles.  She also made me wear a pantylet/ shorts to minimize contact with the petticoat.

Allow her change into her favorite dress that's more comfortable after the photo op. 

2. Practice walking down the aisle with a basket/ pillow

For her first time, we visited the church the day before just so she wouldn't get scared to come to the altar.  Seeing people she knew in the crowd the next day helped her get through it & waved all the way up to her seat.

3. Avoid using too much makeup & hairspray

If your toddler requests for makeup, just give her a bit of lip gloss & peach blush and she's good to go. I really cringe at heavy makeup on kids.  Unless she has pimples to hide, I don't think foundation is necessary.  If she sweats a lot, opt for baby powder.  If it's going to be an outdoor wedding, allow her to put on some kids' sunscreen/ BB Cream.

4. Try to get the hair accessories in advance

My daughter hates hairpieces.  She hates hats, clips, hair flowers, wreaths and headbands.  It doesn't help that most wedding coordinators refuse to give the hair accessories out in advance fearing it could get lost.  So I dunno if there would ever come a time that I would be successful in making her wear flowers on her hair.

5.  Assign someone else to take photos/ videos

It's quite tempting to do everything yourself but it might ruin the moment :p Trust the wedding photographer and/or your relatives/friends to document the event.

Smile, breathe, and enjoy! Best wishes! :p

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Transition Period

It's official. I now have a preschooler at home. On her 40th month, she declared that she's already a big girl.  She consistently refuses to latch & orders me to feed her brother when he wants milk.  "He needs you more, Mom. He's always hungry!"  We don't adhere to a strict lesson plan but she can now write her nickname and her favorite letters (A, C, E, H, I, J, O, X) and numbers. She adds & subtracts single digit numbers (when she feels like it) and sings songs in her spare time.  English is her first language but she understands a bit of Tagalog, Mandarin, Spanish, German, French & Korean. Thank you, Netflix and Youtube.  When we're abroad, she's confident to play even with non-English speaking kids and attempts to communicate with them by gesturing more. Hopefully she gets to acquire other Filipino dialects too as she grows older.

She learned how to poop in the potty successfully at six months because she knew how to say "googoo" (poop!) early on.  For other parents, they say they get to train their kids to pee first in the potty before they develop the patience to wait for poop. But I dunno, up to now it's challenging for us to rush to the potty for "wiwi" (pee).  I always have fresh underwear ready and diapers when she sleeps/goes out with us.  I didn't pressure her to potty train when we found out I was pregnant with Leon more than a year ago.  It's only now that we're trying again to potty train for wiwi.

Leon, on the other hand, now knows how to sip fresh milk or fruit juice from a straw but still prefers to latch when table food is too sweet or salty for him.  This seldom happens when other people are around; he's such a show off to guests.  He can dance on cue and walk briskly. He started walking without holding unto rails before he turned one.

He also knows how to sit on the toilet bowl for cleanups.  But unlike Leji who was born with her own verbal language that we understood (she was quite consistent), Leon could hardly talk.  They say boys take more time to learn how to talk in general so we go by gut feel to comprehend what he communicates.  He understands instructions but his spoken vocabulary is limited to "baba" (go down usually to eat), "up" ("carry me" or "wash me upstairs"),"ter" (water), "sa pa"/"more", "back" & "ball" (he loves B!).  He relies heavily on gestures; he points to his sippy cup when he's thirsty and bangs the door of the room he wants to enter next.  He doesn't like TV as much as Lej and loves to run around, crawl & pretend to be some dog/monster/superhero/all at the same time.  He's generally jolly; he laughs all the time. He loves familiar faces; he hugs & bites/kisses us all the time. 

Thank you, Lord!

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